A Private Function - Sex Stories

A Private Function

Teddy Carson had always moved through the upper echelons of polite society. His father was an Earl and Teddy was really just playing at being a student until he inherited the title and the seat in the House of Lords. To relieve the monotony of mixing with the plebs, he decided to form a rather exclusive club.

He came to this decision one night whilst drinking in the back bar of Burlington Berties, a notorious drinking den opposite the King’s Theatre. A friend had suggested calling it Burlington Berties Club, or the BBC for short. Bertie snorted with laughter at the idea as the friend’s father was Director-General of the British Broadcasting Corporation. Another friend looked up aghast.

“Dear God, I should hope there’ll be no big black cocks in this club, Teddy.”

Teddy laughed and reassured him that the membership would be exclusive. Exclusively white, privileged, male and they would all be gay as fuck.

“Perhaps we should call it Bertie’s Bum Club?”

The response to this was muffled amongst the snorts of laughter as the group of friends got drunker and drunker. Teddy didn’t even need to explain the rationale behind the club. Everyone knew that the membership would be the future elite. The Captains of Industry, the government, perhaps even a Prime Minister or two. Whether their future was a career in the arts, politics or the business world, being a Burlington Bertie would always stand you in good stead.

As the wine and the brandy continued to flow, Teddy decided there would have to be an event to show to everyone that they were serious about joining the exclusive club and would do whatever was necessary to be one of the boys. At that moment, the chef brought out the trays of bacon sandwiches Teddy had ordered earlier.

Teddy had a weakness for bacon butties and the ones here were a delight to behold. Slices of hot greasy bacon smothered in tomato ketchup and wrapped inside a white bread bap. They were the ultimate hangover cure but, as Teddy had discovered, they were also the ultimate in self-pleasure. On many the occasion, Teddy had been known to pleasure the bacon butty. The sensation of sliding his hard cock between the layers of hot greasy bacon wrapped in the white bap was not to be sniffed at. The heat of the bacon, with the grease supplying more than enough lubrication, not to mention the dollops of tomato ketchup splattered on the cock head, was both a sight and a sensation to behold. And afterwards, there was always some fawning acolyte willing to drop to their knees and lick the mixture of bacon grease and cum from his softening cock once it was withdrawn from the ruined butty.

As he bit into the bacon sandwich that the chef at Burlington Berties had rustled up, the idea came to him. He’d always been a big fan of William Golding’s novel, Lord of the Flies, and had often argued that if only they’d had chaps like them on that island, things would have worked out a lot smoother.

“We need a pig.”

Everyone looked ...